Parenting Lessons

With Eden added to our family, WK and I sometimes cautioned one another not to show any favourtism. Which in my mind, I would think of being fair and equal so that the child will not feel their siblings are being loved more or less.

But I came across this contrasting statement which say "Play Favourites - Equally" Infact the writer says that it is impossible for parents to never play favourites. The only parents who can do it is those having only one child.
The writer acknowledge that some parent's and children's personality mesh and others clash. And these makes the unique relationship that parent have with different child.
Indeed every child is special... so play favourites equally. I am not sure how this can be done but I am sure we need lots of wisdom and sensitivity when dealing with these little one.

I relate a lot more with this statement - Fair does not means equal. He says children place immese importance on fairness which to them often means exactly the same. Parents can fall in the trap of fairness, counting the number of M&M, measure the size of a cake and buying everyone a present when one has a birthday. This is where parents can drive themselves crazy trying to keep everything equal. It is impossible to treat our child the same all the time. Not all children's need are the same.
If this is the case, what can we do? Don't stress yourself to give equal opportunities every day. Aim for a balance in a big picture, not equal.

The next time when I hear " Not fair" I think I am able to deal with it better and not feeling guilty about it.

In the next paragraph the writer says that parent should avoid comparing. I am thinking that maybe we can compare if our motives is not to determine who is better. I do think sometimes WK and I compare to note the differences in our boys.